My learnings abroad

My little family and I lived from 2014 - 2019 in beautiful Budapest, Hungary. In this article I am sharing with you what I learned in this time living and working abroad. Do you experience similar life lessons?

 Learning #1: Be brave when the moment comes

I am often a coward, definitely when it comes to take risks (and moving abroad giving up your safe position following your husband I considered as one ;-)). But at this very moment in 2014 - in a cafe in Hamburg talking to my closest friend about the chance to go to Hungary - I faced my fears and looked for the chances. A great adventure started, one I never regretted since then for a second :-)

Learning #2: Follow your inner voice

Our live was rainbows and popsicles when we came to Budapest. We discovered beautiful Budapest in Summer, on the streets, at the water. We found wonderful friends, we felt alive.

But there was also another side: Our 2 year old son had a hard time integrating to his new daycare. After he started to speak in German and understand Spanish (the native languague of his father) he found himself in a new environment he could not understand and communicate with, as it was in English and Hungarian. Seeing this was tough, especially knowing that it was us, our responsibility, bringing him into this situation. 

And I did not feel myself that different. Yes, I had been very lucky and supported as I got an interesting position as HR Marketing Specialist. But not knowing the country nor the language, and not having worked in HR before brought me out of balance. Honestly I was deeply under water and my persons of trust asked me why I was doing this to myself. Why I would not take it easy, staying at home for a while like many following their partners abroad.

Because I had this inner voice telling me that it will be fine, that it is worth to hold on, against all odds and opinions. And this voice was right, after very difficult first months our son gained confidence and security (nowadays I think he simply sees the world as his home :-) and I started to grow on Hungarian soil also professionally. 

 Learning #3: Limitations are enablers

Imagine you are responsible for the Employer Branding activities in a country you do not speak the language and you realize you will not be able to at any proficient level in many years (sorry, my dear Hungarians, I tried ;-)).

These limitations became my enablers. I simply could not do a "one woman show" nor follow the German imperative "trust is good, but control is better". Also I had to start working more visual than language driven and to memorize a lot. The experience of being abroad, not being able to work and act as I used to, brought this present to me. This was also a great present for my first leadership position later on as I needed to build on trust, in the people around me and myself. 

Learning #4: Turn to your partner and family, not away

Going aboard with your partner is like being placed in a catalyst. It can speed up things for the worse or for the better. Of course it depends a lot on the foundation you already have, but also on your decision and commitment. I am very proud of us, that we kept an eye on each other and on us as a family, that we always revived our relationship after stormy times and that we were there for our son, both of us. Being brave and honest, we became rounder individuals, partners and parents. I am deeply thankful to my husband, for lovingly challenging me, for being at my side, for being a partner to count on.

Learning #5: Take chances and start chances

Take chances - After more than 2 years in Hungary one day my leaders invited me for a talk asking me if I am interested to take over the local Employer Branding and Recruiting group. Honestly I did not expect that and besides the positive exitement there was my inner coward asking "What if I fall…? Can I, can we (as a family) manage all that together, being abroad and not having family around to support?" 

But, do you know the nice quote “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” (Erin Hanson). So - strongly supported by my husband as this meant as well rearranging our family routines and duties and getting more external support - I took this chance and got a wonderful group and job. It has been a great flying lesson! :-D

Start chances - when I started my first leadership position I got the opportunity to join a company kick-off event where leaders from all over Hungary were invited. As I sat there and listened to the invited speakers I realized something. The speakers were very much alike: men with a similar career story, similar background, inner motivators and style. And as I looked around me I saw also mostly men. So I asked myself what waits ahead of us if people alike are listening to people alike becoming the future leaders. And honestly, I did not want to go with that as I believe diversity is what brings societies and companies further. 

Together with other inspired women we founded a women network at my company in Budapest, bringing successfully new ideas and initiatives many employees can benefit from. It was not an easy ride, but definitely worth it! 

Learning #6: Listen to wise people

When being faced with big challenges abroad, no matter if professional, personal, or both I learned that many wise people are around you to help and to give you the needed inspiration - as friends, mentors, trainers, coaches or role-models. It needs just some braveness and openness to see them and to let their advise work in you.

Learning #7: Share and give back

Talking about role-models - over the last years, especially as a young family living abroad my longing for role-models became much stronger.

Therefore was very touched hearing over the last years several times that we as a family and couple and even me had become an inspiration for others - especially for young women thinking about how they can pursue their plans and ambitions. It makes me very happy and proud seeing that I can share something of value, something that might help them to overcome some challenges, to look bravely for their chances.

Another Café, end of 2018. My husband and I were talking about our future, about what comes next, after Hungary. My imagination was going to another country and not back to Germany (yet :-)), preferably in Europe. So somehow brave, but not tooooo much. Suddenly my husband blurs out: "Let's go to China!".

Silence. We looked at each other in wonder and at this new possibility floating in the room…

A lot of research later (still I need a lot of security ;-), we started next adventure and moved to Suzhou in China in September 2019.

So my ...

Learning #8: Learning abroad makes you want to learn more :-)

I would be happy if my story set a spark in you to become more curious and brave - of course only if you need that :-). What are your experiences and learnings abroad? Please share in the comments!

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