Stress drives you NUTS? Try these simple, yet effective methods
"I am so stressed!”…we all talk about stress and we all experience stress. And while a certain amount of stress can be good and activating there is a tipping point when we get out of balance.
This tipping point depends on many factors, the intensity and/or length of the experienced stress, our baseline before the stress and our personal responsiveness to stress factors. I for example am gifted with a very active amygdala - a small structure deep in the brain which plays a key role in how we respond to environmental threats and challenges. Simply said, I tend to freak out easily. And while this is can be useful confronted with a real threat, very often it’s not. So I looked deeper into what causes stress, what happens when we are stressed and most of all, what we can do about it. Today I want to share with you some really interesting and helpful findings. I hope these help you understanding yourself better and finding better ways to reduce your experienced stress.
What stresses us most?
The Canadian Centre for Studies on Human stress created - based on Neuroscientific research - a simple, “brain-friendly” (as it’s also easy to recall) model about stresses us human most: NUTS.
N for Novelty: Something new you haven’t experienced before
U for Uncertainty: Something you had no way of knowing would occur
T for Threat to the Ego: Your competence as a person is called into question
S for Sense of Control: You feel you have little or no control over this situation
Makes a lot of sense, right? When I saw this model I understood a lot better, why for example relocating to another country is super exciting, but also very stressful. There are so many New things to deal with, you don’t know how things are working in the new place so you ego is Threatened, you try to plan everything but still there is a lot where you might feel without Sense of control. And maybe something totally unexpected is happening on top, leaving you with Uncertainty. Or think about changing roles at your company (N, T). Or being confronted with an unexpected illness (N, U, T, S). Or living in a world dealing with Covid 19 (N, U, S)….
Interesting is, that we respond different to these factors. If you want to understand your personal stress triggers better, I recommend this free test.
Now, after understanding better what stresses us, let’s look a bit into what happens, when we are stressed…
What happens when we are stressed? The stress response
The stress response is often also called the “fight-or-flight response”. This expression already shows us the function, it enables us to react to a threat by fighting against it or running away from it. So very useful when we are for example facing a dangerous animal in the wild, but not serving us in modern world scenarios like being stuck in a traffic jam or having an argument with your partner or colleague. Most people experience the stress response several times per day, often not even being aware of. The amygdala plays a crucial part in this response. When I - or you ;) - freak out, the amygdala overreacts and goes into amygdala hijack mode. What are some of the effects of a strong stress response?
Your body: Heart racing, increased shallow breathing, dilated pupils, muscle tension und to shaking, sweating
Your mind and emotions: Illogical and irrational overreactive behaviors (being defensive, edgy or up to aggressive), impaired decision making, reduced working memory….
When I get very stressed, eg in an especially difficult dispute, I can literally feel how my higher cognitive functions fail. My brain gets empty, I can’t hold on to my thoughts, I want to get out. How can you know that you are experiencing a stress response? Listen to your body and emotions. When you feel your heart beating more quickly, you feel flushed, starting to sweat and becoming edgy and upset, you are in “flight or flight” mode. Happily, there is a wonderful counterbalancing biological mechanism, the relaxation response.
The relaxation response
For me, already the name is music to my ears. The relaxation response counteracts the effects of the stress response by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is our “rest and digest” system, balancing previously experienced stress. The good news is that there are great ways to activate the relaxation response!
How can you initiate the relaxation response?
Nature
Seeing nature has a very relaxing effect on our nervous system. In my trainings I let the participants experience this effect by showing first a picture of a car crash followed directly by a picture of a forest with a little creek. What happens is, that they experience within a very short time a “fight and flight response” and a “relaxation response”. By observing their physical and emotional reactions they realize that these reactions are extremely quick, without any involvement of our giver cognitive functions. The participants usually describe the feeling when seeing the nature scene as instantly soothing and relaxing. Here is a great video by National Geographic where you can test this effect for yourself. So how can you use this effect? Ideally going out in nature when feeling stressed. But surprisingly, already looking at nature activates the relaxation response, for example looking out of your window into trees or water or even at a picture behind your screen or desktop. Dutch scientists researched this effect and conclude “Viewing green scenes may thus be particularly effective in supporting relaxation and recovery after experiencing a stressful period, and thereby could serve as an opportunity for micro-restorative experiences and a promising tool in preventing chronic stress and stress-related diseases.” Of course also indoor plants can do the trick. Or here in China one can see little indoor fountains based on the Feng Shui system (風水 - wind water). So, how can you bring some nature into your working environment and home?
Breathing
As I did previously, some of you might think right now: “Of course, we all know that inhaling often and deeply gives us more oxygen so that we can relax more easily.” It turns out, that this wrong and can even create more stress. Let’s look a bit into this. Breathing is indeed really a very powerful - and always accessible - tool to directly influence our nervous system and brain functions. The inhale and exhale are directly linked to the two branches of our nervous system. Every inhale actives the sympathetic nervous system a little bit - your heart rate increases and your pupils dilate a little bit. On every exhale your parasympathetic system gets activated: your heart slows down, your pupils constrict slightly and….you calm down. So what do you need to do to trick your system into calming down? Exactly! Prolog the exhale compared to the inhale. Most effectively combined with breathing through the nose and into the belly (diaphragmatic breathing activating further the vagus nerve, the biggest nerve of the parasympathetic system). While this has been experienced since centuries in yoga, tai chi or meditation, there has been recently very impressive research on the topic. To start with you can use the very simple breathing technique I describe below. Give it a try, you will see instantly the effects on how you feel. Even only 2 -3 breathing cycles can do wonders before or during a stressful meeting. The exercise:
Pay attention on breathing in and out through the nose and into the belly.
Breathe in on 4 counts, breathe out on 8 counts.
For those interested to go deeper into breathing, I can wholeheartedly recommend the course “The Neuroscience of breathing” by the NeuroMindfulness Institute. I learned so much in this course and I see and use breathing completely different now. They also offer a wonderful free taster course.
Power Posing
I am sure many of you already saw Amy Cuddy’s famous TedTalk “Your body language may shape who you are” (if you haven’t seen it, you should, it’s great!). In her talk she introduces the concept of power posing. Basically a power pose is whenever you take room with your body, demonstrating power and strength. Just think about gorillas impressing their opponents, birds spreading their wings or tails, snakes making themselves big….Or think about a boss crossing his hands behind the head, maybe even placing the feet on his desk…about super woman standing stable on both legs with her hands on her wrist…winners throwing their arms wide open in the sky….
The cool thing is, we can use this effect consciously to reduce stress and increase self-esteem! How? Very simple, pick your favorite power pose and enjoy it for 2 minutes. You think your colleagues will say you are crazy? Why not introducing this great method to them as well? It can be a great activator in a meeting or training. Or you do what I do, for example before presentations: Take 2 minutes locked in the bathroom and enjoy a power pose ;). While Amy Cuddy’s original study sparked some discussion in the scientific world, there is a lot of evidence that this practice influences our mood significantly. When doing some power posing in trainings (on site and online) the participants often share afterwards, that they feel more confident and present afterwards.
Laughing
That simple? Yes! When you are bursting out in laughter your stress response gets shortly stronger but afterwards the relaxation response takes over, decreasing in the longer turn your heart rate and blood pressure. Besides that endorphins are released - our happiness hormone - further helping us to relax and enjoy. In fact, the positive effects of laughter are so strong, that they are used in laughter therapy to increase mental health. Scientists detected that laughter decreases serum levels of cortisol and epinephrine (stress hormones), further indicating a reversal of the stress response. Laughter on top improves your immune system, relieves pain, and improves your mood long term. So why not placing a fun post card or picture around your desk? Or watching a fun sitcom after a very stressful day at work? Not feeling at all like laughing? Read this: Even if we force ourselves to smile, we are influencing our mood positively and reducing stress. Really. You can find the science behind this here and you can try this little self experiment: Take a pen and but it into your mouth holding it with your teeth. This will create a forced smile. Are you trying it? Then you know what I am writing about :)
Too many things to remember?
Just think of Wonder Woman exhaling deeply with a smile on her face in a beautiful forest! Next time you are stressed remember this picture and pic one of the tools to ease your stress.
Since making more often use of these always available tools I am able to calm down more easily and more quickly. The even better news is that I am actively rewiring my brain by doing that. Our brains have the capability of rebuilding themselves based on how we use them. In Neuroscience this is called “use it or loose” it and describes the mechanism of neuroplasticity. So by using these tools I am weakening the reactiveness of my amygdala to stress triggers and strengthening my automatic relaxation response in the long term. And if I can do that, you can do that!
I very much hope that this article gave you useful insights to understand why you get stressed, what happens to you when you are stressed and mostly what wonderful tools you and all of us have at hand. Imagine a world, where we are able to say in an argument or a tense work meeting “I feel our amygdalas are going a bit into overdrive here. Let’s help our systems to cool down first by … looking for a few seconds out of the window in these beautiful trees …or… by a doing short breathing exercise together …or… by stretching out a little bit …or… a good laugh: Who has a great joke to share?” We would be definitely feeling better and also taking better decisions.